Just chill, dude
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Saturday July 1st, 2006
I was once (or a hundred times) witness to a conversation between overeager-to-impress peon and genius superstar. The comedic value of such a conversation varies depending on the generosity of said superstar and the persistence of said peon. That comedy can also be in direct correlation to the ultimate humiliation of the poor peon. Exhibit A:
(all names in these blog entries have been changed except where they might embarrass somebody close to me in which case they are left as is)
O-IP: (snively-voiced) “Mr. Kim, Mr. Kim, that was a wonderful performance. I am about to work on the Paganini con-CHER-to as well and I was wondering what etudes and scales you studied in order to prepare for climbing this great mountain.”
SK: “Oh, thank you so much. I guess you can work on some Dont and Kreutzer etudes and Rode and Paganini caprices as well as all of your scales…”
(GS intercedes)
GS: (gruffly) “What’s this? What are you talking about?”
O-IP: (snivelier yet since now he/she is talking to GS) “Mr. GS! I enjoyed your performance! I was just asking Mr. Kim what kinds of scales and etudes to practice to be able to play like such a great artist as yourself.”
GS: “Etudes? Scales? What are you talking about?”
O-IP: (enthusiastically) Well, I do Sevcik op. 3, Sevcik op. 8, Tartini, Fiorillo, Gavinies, Dounis…”
GS: “Scales and etudes are for untalented people! You only practice those if you can’t play the violin. How much do you practice?”
O-IP: (a bit dismayed) “Well, about 4 hours a day…”
GS: “4 hours!! If you have to practice more than 1 hour a day you have no talent. You should forget about becoming a musician.”
Our poor O-IP was heartbroken. Obviously GS was an ass and O-IP was sweet but a little overbearing. The story had a happy ending as O-IP became a better violinist than GS could ever dream of becoming.
Exhibit B: (different characters and a slightly-altered storyline)
O-IP: (puffing out chest) “I am about to play the Paganini Caprices in concert.”
GS: (raising eyebrow) “Really.”
O-IP: (with great self-importance) “In what order do you play all 27 of them?”
GS: (eyes slitting) “You mean 24? Are there three more?”
O-IP: (stammering) “Oh, I thought there were 27…”
GS: (moving in for the kill) “Really. And what do those other three sound like, I wonder?”
(awkward pause)
GS: “You only play these all together once you have performed at least 16 of them individually. Have you?”
O-IP: (once again feeling impressive) “I have performed 12 of them!”
GS: “That is not 16, so you do not play 24 together. Certainly not 27.”
Today’s moral:
If you really are a GS then please be a nice one. And for God’s sake don’t be an O-IP.